Shaming comes from various sources and in various forms. Some sources even mean well (like our families or friends). It can come as a comment or a joke or name calling. It can be about bodily attributes or personality attributes (too bashful/ too flamboyant / too loud / too quiet etc.)
I think the person resorting to shaming is fearful. They feel threatened when they see something that is not perceived to be 'their' normal.
For e.g., a parent might feel scared that their child will not be accepted by the society for being different, or they might be genuinely scared of the medical consequences of the child being different (too fat/too thin/too gloomy etc.) In my opinion, in this case the fear can be expressed in a more compassionate way rather than hurtful jokes or snide remarks. Instead of saying you have become fat, the parent can simply say that they are worried for the child's health, request the child to take care ('would you want to keep a check on your diet' or 'do you want to share what you are thinking and feeling') and leave it at that.
Another example - someone calling out another (perhaps unacquainted) person for their skin colour might just be fearful for some other aspect in their own life and feel entitled just because their skin colour fits the societal norms of a good skin better than the person they end up attacking. Entitlement is the most tragic expression of ones fear.
I hope and pray that we all are able to rise above our fears and demons and become more appreciative and compassionate.
I think the person resorting to shaming is fearful. They feel threatened when they see something that is not perceived to be 'their' normal.
For e.g., a parent might feel scared that their child will not be accepted by the society for being different, or they might be genuinely scared of the medical consequences of the child being different (too fat/too thin/too gloomy etc.) In my opinion, in this case the fear can be expressed in a more compassionate way rather than hurtful jokes or snide remarks. Instead of saying you have become fat, the parent can simply say that they are worried for the child's health, request the child to take care ('would you want to keep a check on your diet' or 'do you want to share what you are thinking and feeling') and leave it at that.
Another example - someone calling out another (perhaps unacquainted) person for their skin colour might just be fearful for some other aspect in their own life and feel entitled just because their skin colour fits the societal norms of a good skin better than the person they end up attacking. Entitlement is the most tragic expression of ones fear.
I hope and pray that we all are able to rise above our fears and demons and become more appreciative and compassionate.
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