Mi Precioso

Dont ask me what is right,

Dont tell me what is wrong.

Today I see through the clouds,

All the places I could have gone.

The morning sun shines bright,

The little stars blink at night;

But when the clouds doom upon,

There are shades of gray, no black or white.

The inviting surf and the mighty peaks,

The lush green with all its creepy sheath,

I wish to forget; and ask them to forgive

'Coz now I open my eyes & wash the blinding dreams.

Drop of elixir which was meant to quench;

Choked my breath and drowned my soul.

But the pheonix rose from the ashes again

There may not be any jewels as yet, but im back on my hunt for the precious stone.

The Random Disappointing Thought

My mind is hardly ever at peace! A few minutes back, I was doing certain mundane chores, with random thoughts swarming my mind. Suddenly the streaming came to a halt at an incidence that had happened recently.
A few days back, I was denied, for reasons unknown, an act of philanthropy! I must say, I was highly disappointed, as I had been looking forward to participate in the community service. I tried to inquire the reason from concerned people and pushed as much as I could to be a part of the noble cause.
At this sad note, my memory took me back to another such event. From childhood itself, I was highly inspired by the television commercials(esp. the national TV channel) which promoted donation of body parts/blood. I had promised myself that I would do the same on my 18th birthday. However, I lost the chance. Many years later, I got the opportunity. The point here is: had I gone to the donation camp at that time, I probably would have boasted about the benovelence my entire life; but when I donated my blood many years later, I forgot about it the very next moment.

There is no humility in feeling great about doing something good for others.
Im feeling much more relaxed about the whole thing now.
Conclusion: Everything happens for a reason :)

A Tale by an Amateur Storyteller

It is surely an astounding experience to watch it pouring; especially, if you have a cup of tea and a plate of freshly fried pakoras besides you.

Diasa was sitting on the rocking chair, looking out of the huge window of her spacious room, reveling the utopian feeling in her own Zion. The rain had made her reminiscent about the days when she was a sculpturesque young girl.

....

She would sit on the slab, by the window, and watch it rain till the time it stopped. Every now and then, she would stretch her hand out of the window to feel the drops striking her fingertips. Each time she got a tingling feeling, as if she was being encouraged to dream on.

Diasa dreamt about 3 things in particular:
# A huge and spacious penthouse in a skyscraper, overlooking the mundanities of the metro-life.
# Her brother Devasaya’s wedding.
# To bring a smile on every face around her.

She yearned for a hugely successful professional life, so that she could become self-reliant and independent. She would pray for it at every consecrated place she visited.
She also loved travelling, and had pledged to become an avid traveler. She had planned to get a souvenir from all the destinations she touched…

....

Tungggggggg………..
The clock struck 1800 hrs And Diasa was shuddered back to her present. Here she was: a 52 year old stout woman, with the most loveable and loving family. Her husband is a banker, and kids are settled and doing pretty well for themselves. She looked out of the window. It had stopped raining and the hustle-bustle on the street below had resumed in full blow. She had given the maid, a day-off, as she wanted to cook for her husband. He was coming back from a business-trip and it was a Sunday.
Diasa went to the kitchen and started cooking. Somehow, she could not take her mind off the thoughts which were swarming.

Diasa and her husband owned a duplex in one of the most posh neighborhoods of the metro. The apartment was just to her taste. This was her heavenly abode. Devasaya had been married for years now. She had a happy and contended family, or so it seemed.

All the dreams Diasa had seen for her personal life had been realized.
What about the career??? Diasa had wished for a sky-rocketing career, and she had failed miserably there. Diasa had failed to clear her GRE and was too timid to spring back & give it another shot. Eventually, she joined a local college as a teacher. She travelled - knowing about her passion for travelling, her husband would occasionally take her along on his business trips.

Diasa was done with the cooking and was washing her hands, when the doorbell rung. She rushed to the door and looked through the spy-hole. As expected it was Shourya, her husband. He entered, hugged her, pecked on her forehead and caressed her now graying hair.

....

Tick Tick… Tick Tick………

Diasa was awakened by the alarm tone she had set the previous day. She had been sleeping the whole afternoon. She rushed to see herself in the mirror, and was relieved to find that she was still 22 years young. ‘Probably it is the impact of that crappy movie Click that I was watching in the morning’, she thought.

Just as the protagonist of Click gets a moral from his dream, Diasa realized that however happy and ideal her world may become, even if her dreams are realized somehow; she would always remain disgruntled about not fulfilling her wishes.

She got up, cleared her study table and once again started her preparation for the exam she had failed in.

Shadows of fear

Just when the stars have leapt;
The angels looked on, as my body wept.

Too much fear has dazed my sight;
Glittering darkness, dancing before my eyes.

Apprehension is beginning to paralyze me;
The pain rushes back with every sight I read.

I gulp down, to drink my soul gluttonously;
Paranoia swarming & sweeping over monstrously.

It has been a long night, and now my whole being aches;
So I look at the ceiling, waiting for the dawn to break.

Ataraxis?

I stand alone on silent nights;

Scars of feelings dawn new light.

~~

I cannot reap a soul, nor weep;

And at night I cannot sleep.

~~

For the demons wake in silent beds,

To pull all my fears and dread.

~~

I must stay on my chosen path;

Hope to outrun their gentle wraith.

~~

I cannot stop until peace has shone,

But then I fear I am all alone.

~~

Like a candle, I flicker light;

Shedding tears and shedding fright.

~~

All but my presence is unknown,

How can I accept, what I feel is wrong?

~~

It brings so much strength to stop these tears;

Yet somehow I will wash my fears.

~~~~~

The Calling............

Dreams in my eyes, Hopes in my heart;

Here I come, as I take your path..........

The many face of my memories,
So many incidents in your gallery;
Your hundreds of chronicles
...my umpteen stories!
But that one odd tale,
which now I begin to tell...Life, I come to you
...not to fail :-)

The warmth of my hands, shall melt all chains;
With sounds of my steps, destiny shall change!
Expectation in my eyes and desire in my soul;
All this and much more, I bring to your door..Life, help me sail through
...to the shore :-)

When you were upset with me, or when I am disappointed by you;
You know you wanted me, and I knew I desired you!
So today, let me confess, that I'm in love with you my mistress...
Life, be my soulmate
...in times of glory or distress :-)

WHO CARES !!!!

Flipped through the pages...Each 1 said - 'The World is Watching'.

It is the diary; but this is how we behave at each crossing!

``

Its about image building...Ever heard a boy calling his friend - Princess?

'Jealousy thy name is woman'...wants to steal all the caresses!

``
There is no royal blood, there is no royal demeanour!

There are a pair of submissive eyes & circumstances which are meaner!!

``
Watchful soul that seldom laughs; to appear sunny, always smiles

The boring ugly duckling interior, does the cute fledgling exterior hides.

``
Run from one dark corner...and reach another (- to your horror!)

Why not face it, be proud and face the mirror!

`````

life is beautiful :)

Isn't this what dreams are made of....

.....to be woken up by the most beautiful voice you've heard...
.....to have a glimpse of the brightest smile of the world, greeting you...
.....to have those sparkling eyes look at you (though apologetically, for having you kept waiting!)...
.....to get a call which makes you feel the most important person in the world..every few minutes...
.....to be pampered and treated royally like a princess...
.....to have someone listening eagerly to the weirdest things you say, as if it was a holy discourse...
.....to have a support system, which helps you sail through..comforting you at slightest pain...
.....to have looked through the window at the reflection of moon..or walked in the park under winter sun...
.....to have been introduced to your inner self..and be made to feel beautiful......
.....to just hold hands..and let you dream on...................................

Let me keep dreaming.....let me remain in this trance.....