Outburst. Random!

I wonder if I build a time machine,

Will I visit the past or go deep into the future?

To know it all, that lay ahead, untold;

Or to undo what brought me here?

And when I get a chance to walk,

Will I shun the baggage and run along?

To try and do, what I set out for - my plan;

Or to take a new path, etch out a new way?

For when the train shall hoot at my door,

Will I be able to stop it and board?

To be on my way, on time, for the rush of gold;

Or would I be paralysed by this stoic mould?

But what if it never happens too soon,

Will I see the light or stay up holed?

To have given it up, too conked, too chocked;

Or a tad sober, may be delirious, to take it on?

This jumble of state, it must end for my sanity

As I am stuck in this muck, drowning me like gravity

I try and let it go, hoping time tests us all

But if the weather is always rough, at some point, the tree shall fall.

~~~

My sashay from the Maximum to the Capital

Two years went by, on the roller-coaster ride

It was good and bad, I must take it in my stride

Now it’s time to move on, back to the pride

Both old and new, anticipations entwined

These last few days, like the first ones, shall be

Ever in my memories, every day that I see

I found myself in this city of dreams,

More grounded I think, with the lessons it would teach

I had left my nest to be with my soul (mate)

They took me in; a new world has been made

We fought and made up, foundations were laid

Similarities and differences, to love and to tolerate

And then it was also, to be on my own,

Live the fantasy, with which I had grown

It wasn’t easy I must say; the journey seemed long

However, with all the support, I managed to trot along

Looking back, it appears to be a phase in passing

Making way for the fresh, verve and long lasting

We proceed to be back, to the city aborigine,

Whose faces I’ve known, smiling or crying

The drives, the fun, my kin and my life

To experience it all over again, to reunify

Promises waiting to unfold, optimism rife

After these 2 years that went by, on the roller-coaster ride!

to You, with hope

When the coin has two sides

And none of them seem right

When the sky is so white

That it intimidates with its might

Dear Lord, in such times let me fight

All that rambles inside me, my own plight

You gave us in ample that I did not realise

Now You take that back but I can’t criticise

The whiff of air, my valued prize

My wings and those little bags of surprise

Dear Lord, I being Your favourite child

Should not have taken it in my pride

Once more I look at You, my Lord

In askance to what will be in Your accord

For I know not now what beholds my record

Mazed & glazed, I grab the last chord

For You to break the web with Your holy sword

Because only You can give me that precious reward

I pray to You with my heart and soul

Bestow Your blessing, make me pure

Forgive me for making myself so sore

Give me courage, strength and peace

To stand my ground stable on my feet

So that I can still be loved, like you’ve always loved me

An element of Something

I want to be a part of something
Not any revolution & not any change

An incessant world of covariance

With composure of chance & a jumble of state

Want to let it go; want to let my hair down

I want to be at peace with what is still unfound

That which has ceased to exist, my own..

And the new affiliates of an old caravan

Inner strength that I was proud of

Or a new-found confidence that might as well be a farce

With highs of life & bitter experiences of lows

I want to go out exploring, for I am a wiser self now

It is stuck in continuity, with a chain of caveat

Smothering all hopes with cuffs of beliefs

Mind breaks the inertia, is a point to moot

Yet I want to be a part of something, something that is ineffably true... 

Dream?!

Walk on..

Color them red, Color me white

Color us with your morning light

Hold back them nerves, Let’s take a flight

Let’s find new horizons on a jet ski ride

Sail through the river, Rush through the sea

Then park on the beach and go for the greens

                      **^**^**

We’ll find our souls, As long [as] its whole

Place it back in and savor it to the core

We’ll search the sight, We’ll fight the fright

Gaze its hive and sting its bite

What was filled to the brim, We’ll devour till its wiped

Then get back our shoes and take the stride

In the deep

Lush of fields and blue of Skies,

The flowers with their beautiful butterflies

The flowing rivers with boats and oars,

And the surf breaking on sea shores

The gush of blood, the silent thud

Beneath a repose, the rover calls.

                 

This scrambling town with its auto smokes,

As if intentionally it means to provoke,

The jabbering folks throng to burthen,

As if their sole wish is to create hurdles,

The strength of mind, the will at its might,

Want to feel this flight, but alas! I am not tied

                   

The glint of tamed and the warmth of kin,

The sheen of gold and the élan of silk,

The plush-ness of life, for the greens do hike

These hankering cries and the sleepless nights

Impressions have soured, Expressions have roared

Now the words do flow, but my ink has dried.

The Bombay Baffle(ment)

Oh boy! I’ve run into around 7-8 blogs about this city, since morning (and its not even noon right now). After finishing the blog-reading marathon, I’ve just ended a phone call with around 50 minutes of Bombay-bashing. They say you have to give yourself a year to start getting to like this place, and I am about to hit that deadline.

Bombay - the city of dreams; the city of glitter ‘n glamour; the maya-nagri. 

It was the city of my dreams too. Yes it was. Long-long back. And then I set foot in this city. Needless to say it completely fell down on me….

Ah! I have started - all over again. I am always this way. When I was in Europe, I missed India like a fanatic; listening to maa tujhe salaam (by A R Rehman) all the time. 

But hey! I am IN India. Does that mean I simply miss Delhi? Yes I am a Delhiite, and I AM a delhiite, and Delhi IS my native place. My parents have lived there since time immemorial, and I was born and brought up there. Having expressed my belongingness for Delhi, I ain’t too fond of Delhi either. I mean it doesn’t get on my nerves like Bombay does and I would defend ‘my city’ to anyone throwing hypes like Delhi being unsafe et al; but, I would certainly controvert a Delhi-extoller.

Maybe home-sick I am. Now my folks are not the exceptionally dotting ones. They have definitely brought me up to be an ‘independent’ lady with all the non-pampering care and un-adulating love (read – I am capable of being on my own). 

Or simply, is it that one hits the nadir before shooting up to the zenith of emotions for the city? As said in the last blog I’d read: ‘One can either fall in love with this city or despise it completely...both ways it evokes emotion; it’s impossible to be indifferent!’

With all this gibbering, it can't get truer..