Home!

My base. 

My favourite place. 

Beginning and end -

To such dreamy days. 

A peaceful gaze. 

The warmest embrace. 

I can drop the façade -

In this safe, cozy space. 

Abound joy & love in the world, 

Worth more than diamonds or gold. 

This right here -

Is where I've belonged! 

Carte blanche

Go fly,

Soar high -

Into the limitless

Blue sky.

Find your freedom.

Spread those wings.

I promise to

Not hold you back -

Make you sit on the fence!

~~

~~

Go run,

Just for fun.

Do not fear of 

What must not be done.

Find your lost self,

Breathe that missed breath.

While your are at it,

Make sure you feel 

The dew laden on veld.

~~

~~

Go seek

Awareness deep -

Only if you wish 

To take that leap.

Find the valor 

To break the shackles,

Dust your knees,

Fold those sleeves,

And perhaps, sigh with relief!

~~

~~

Go, my love...

Go, celebrate your release.

~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Queen of Adriatic

Labyrinth of narrow walkways,
Laced with ponte, palazzo and piazza;
It's gondolas and gondolier,
Rowing on snaking canals.

Glasses and marbles
And fanciful carnival masks;
The city where I attended my first concert,
Experienced Schultz and Bach.

O dear Venezia,
I can't help but remember
Your baroque, gothic and renaissance glory,
Even though 10 years have passed.

Resilience

I believe...

I believe
In all things marvellous -
The tiny kittens and pups cuddled together,
Or a wilderness of flowers, springing out of nowhere.
The chirpy birds chit chatting on window sill,
And the crispy sunrays that levitate the spirit.

I believe
In all things mysterious -
The circle of life
And the secret on which it thrives.
A little child's waddle of a walk,
Or perception of time, beyond the clock.

I believe
In all things happy -
Meeting of friends,
The gleeful spark in their eyes;
And then there are hugs -
Group hugs, side hugs, bear hugs, or I spies.

I believe
In all things beautiful -
Broken or whole
All those scars,
Within or without,
That are gateways to stories profound.

I believe
In stumble of step,
In stammer of voice,
In quiver of life,
That grit in the eyes,
The courage that masks
Fear & plight;
Or just a genuine, gentle smile.

But most of all, I believe
In you, me and all us beings.
The love in our hearts,
The purity of our souls,
The honesty, humility,
Innate goodness of humanity.

For I believe
We all are our own superheroes;
That with our superpowers,
We can save ourselves
And an entirety.

O' Rann

The pitch black night kissed the vast white,
Even the moon dared not shine on that cold December night.

Then the dawn broke, etching a radiant glow;
To that surreal, sensuous, mesmerizing flow.

As if heaven was covering the virgin earth,
With a canvas, painted in azure white mirth.

Spellbound, silent, stunned, I stood;
Ecstatically revering the exquisiteness of you.

चलो फिर एक बार गुफ़्तगू करेंगे...

एक दिन चलो, फिर बैठेंगे - 
कुछ तुम कहना,
कुछ मैं सुनूँगी,
युहीं अपने फ़साने बयां करेंगे।

पूरी करना वो दास्ताँ तुम्हारी 
जो शुरू तो हुई थी,
पर चादर की सलवटों में 
रह गयी है अधूरी।

हाँ सच है की बातें हुईं 
कुछ ऐसे, कुछ वैसे, मुलाकातें भी हुईं,
पर इधर-उधर की बातों में 
जाने क्यों, वो बात ही न रही।

इस बार जाम नही,
चाय की चुस्कियां भऱेंगे ,
गिले-शिकवों की पोटली को दफ़्न कर 
वही पुरानी कहानी मुक्म्मल करेंगे।

आँख मिचोली के इस खेल को 
चलो अब बस बंद करेंगे -
सुकूँ की सांसे लेंगे,
और सादग़ी से ऐतबार करेंगे।

दर्द तुम्हे भी है,
और डर मुझे भी!
इन छलनी टुकड़ों को बटोर कर 
एक दिन चलो, फिर बैठेंगे। 

चलो फिर एक बार गुफ़्तगू करेंगे...  

Dear didi!

A smile so radiant,
A spirit so vibrant.
An understanding and patient soul,
You'd always empathise
And treat my worries as your own.
I've learnt so much from you
While you were in this world,
and now that you have moved beyond.
Today, on your birthday,
As I miss your presence,
And reminisce about 
All the fun-filled times -
Those walks, shopping trips, eat-outs,
Our little adventures,
Attending concerts and plays;
I know that you are looking
down from the skies,
Encouragingly, in the most gentle way,
Prodding me to be strong
Goading me to keep moving on...

Today is the day we had hoped to celebrate together...
Today is the day you were supposed to have been hail and hearty and better...
So many plans left unfulfilled:
That puppy we were supposed to co-parent;
To resume our ritual of the weekly grocery shopping;
To drive around and just have a good time!
This place will never be the same again,
Your fond memories shall always linger....

On shame

Shaming comes from various sources and in various forms. Some sources even mean well (like our families or friends). It can come as a comment or a joke or name calling. It can be about bodily attributes or personality attributes (too bashful/ too flamboyant / too loud / too quiet etc.)
I think the person resorting to shaming is fearful. They feel threatened when they see something that is not perceived to be 'their' normal.
For e.g., a parent might feel scared that their child will not be accepted by the society for being different, or they might be genuinely scared of the medical consequences of the child being different (too fat/too thin/too gloomy etc.) In my opinion, in this case the fear can be expressed in a more compassionate way rather than hurtful jokes or snide remarks. Instead of saying you have become fat, the parent can simply say that they are worried for the child's health, request the child to take care ('would you want to keep a check on your diet' or 'do you want to share what you are thinking and feeling') and leave it at that.
Another example - someone calling out another (perhaps unacquainted) person for their skin colour might just be fearful for some other aspect in their own life and feel entitled just because their skin colour fits the societal norms of a good skin better than the person they end up attacking. Entitlement is the most tragic expression of ones fear.

I hope and pray that we all are able to rise above our fears and demons and become more appreciative and compassionate.

Longing for what is lost

What will I not give, to relive those couple of days...
To touch the fold of your wrinkles,
To see you remove your dentures.

One more chance to talk and share -
To plan those grand plans,
To reminisce about simpler times,
A conversation between just you and me.

One more chance to live up to my word -
To see your smile, appreciate your beauty,
To hear your stories while relishing the savouries,
Another chance to get you to stay with me.

Even though now you are at peace,
There is too much anger, guilt, regret
That you've left behind with me.
A longing that will never cease...

Oh, what will I not give, to convince you to not give up,
For you are the only person whose absolute favourite has been me...

A fad called Feminism!

Save the girl child! Women empowerment! Female infanticide! Rape (though mentioned only in context of women)!

These are real issues that plague our society today - real, important issues. We, the people, plead for 'someone' to take action against these issues. The government is not acting, we say. I am, in no way, undermining the cry against inaction. It is very important to raise our voices against such atrocities, and it is commendable that we have begun to empathize with victims of inhumanity, without any cultural, racial or social bias (or so I hope!)

My concern is - what are we doing besides whining? Is there any bit of house cleaning being done? Are we internalizing the change we aspire to see around us? Are we not marginalizing one section and thereby creating more imbalance in the society? We say we are feminists - do we even make an attempt to understand the term? Unfortunately we mix up the term equality with individuality. Do we understand the difference between the two? Is everyone really EQUAL? Are we striving to be equal? Can we become equal? 

My answer is - NO. 

We are - each one of us - born different, and must be treated as such. In this  scuffle of slogans, the only usage of the term that I agree to, is the Right to 'Equal' Opportunities. Beyond that, stop this guff about equality, as it only leads to further confusion.

To drive the point home, let us start from the beginning. How are we grooming our children? Are we teaching the kids to understand, appreciate and respect the other gender, in a holistic way? What kind of toys and games are we buying for them - while we may buy the daughter a toy car, do we buy the son a kitchen set? While we teach the son to cook, are we teaching the daughter to fix that puncture? Are we providing EQUAL opportunities in our own houses? Are we setting the right example for our kids by sharing the household responsibilities, by treating each other respectfully and humanely (the women be soft-spoken, dependent care-takers, and the men be aggressive, cash-earning providers)? Are we ready to break the stereotypes and more importantly are we ready to accept the stereotypes to be broken by others?

Let us go on to the professional world. How do we treat the 'other' section at work? How many men are comfortable working under women bosses? Do we (be it a man or woman) perceive a woman's climb up the ladder, judgmentally - assuming she would be promiscuous enough to get that promotion? What do we think about men whose wives have more successful careers than them, or about the house-husbands? Does anyone talk about fathers getting their children to work, or Work-life balance for men/fathers? What about people who are not in a wed-lock or who do not have children? What about people of other sexual orientations?

These questions are merely tip of the iceberg.

Here's a thought - while we might claim to nod in affirmation to a majority of questions raised above, lets take a step back and reflect: do we REALLY practice what we preach? Lets us all begin by treating others the way we want to be treated ourselves, and let's get a perspective by stepping into the other person's shoes, and then if we fail to see their point of view, let us leave it at that - let us not force our believes on them.

As I had once read somewhere - there is no definitive right or wrong, there is only MY right and MY wrong.

Signing off...

A tribute to the brave daughter of India

Death of Pi 

(penned, with pain & angst, on 29 December 2012)

She died, and she died a million deaths

Because with her, died a part of us

I could have been in her place

I wanted to watch the movie too,

As much do I like to enjoy my life, my freedom.

I wonder what made her catch that bus

Were her parents worried,

About her getting home, too late?

Were they calling her too often, to check?

Did she and her pal have a hint of what was coming?

She is now being hailed by a million names,

They say that she lived to serve the purpose,

To bring about an awakening, very different from the rest

Did she feel the same, while saving her dignity?

Was she questioning the policing & culture, while on deathbed?

What was she thinking when she watched Pi?

Did she feel, like I did – believed in the story?

That the hyenas shall die, and she shall tame the Richard Parkers?

That the boat will survive rough waters, when her faith is being tested?

That no matter what, God, destiny - is by her side?

Now that she is with God

Does she have questions for Him?

Would she have been safer abroad?

Are women not violated in those parts of the world?

Or maybe, why was she born a girl at all?

And what a shame, if she did ask those questions

To feel sorry about her own identity!

Will He have answers – a world full of men?

For, what would a sans-women world be like?

For what would be the story, without any Pi?

A preposterous appeal

Let me pick the pen,

And make a plea.

Give me the power -

To strip the futurity.

The present as it is,

Makes me utterly queasy!

As my myopia forbears me,

From the beauty I could see.

Take me to the pastures,

Greener than a grove of trees.

Though I am filled with hope,

Ought to vindicate the belief...

Oh, and a vote of thanks

For the bygone glories.

Alas, past is not the besought -

Dwelling of yours truly. 

PS: When the wish is yielded,

I'd probably re-iterate this plea -

As 'then' would've become 'now',

We'd be back to where we started, you see!

Life - Alive

Oh, my dearest life!

How are you –

What are you?

A fleeting moment,

Or a long, tiring journey?

Manipulating old hag,

Or innocuous young beauty?

The more I walk your ways,

The farther I want to run away.

Oh, enchanting, enticing sorceress –

Your bewitching, gory gaze!

The gratitude of your existence,

Yet the rue of your commence;

For some you are flowery,

To me you are means to an end.

You wait, for you know

That we weaken under your weight

Deceitfully, you connive

Our mortal decay.

Oh, my dearest life,

Your gentle smile;

You urge, and you give hope

To keep going on, to strive.

What are you, how are you,

My dearest life, I ask –

As I have no clue –

How after having seen you end,

Would I want to start –

All over again –

Fresh, anew?

Relative Perceptibility

It is not about
The good or the bad,
Neither about
The right or the wrong!
I do not know what lies
Inside your bubble,
Like you would not know
What lies inside mine.

We have those pictures -
All those places we saw,
The friends we knew.
Was is beautiful -
With that tint in your glass?
As you may not know
What I saw!

This is no game,
Or some binary code.
I'll try to be nice,
With all sincerity, I pray.
Are you measuring
In that relative scale?
But, you will not know
My reference point.

Candid or rude,
It is what you've asked for!
Soft target?
We all are!!
The colour, or the monochrome.
As time is flying by,
Let's lead our lives
The way we are.

Cerebrations of an Irked Soul -

Sometime, just sometimes

We don’t realize how much

We are hurt – angered – enraged!

When an indefinable pain,

Well up inside our stomach,

Choking our heart and

Killing our desires.

We look for solace –

A medicine, some comfort

From those close to us

But alas,

They are incapable

Of seeing our seething pain.

They defend and secure

What is theirs is right.

Is it, however, that makes us cry?

These hypocrisies, their petty lies

Their ugly selves, they ought to hide.

Like a volcano, waiting to erupt;

Like a hulk, ready to pick a fight –

We stare in disbelieve,

Hoping this too shall pass by.

At such times, we wonder

Is it already too late?

We try and we move on

Wondering what others may think!

The tussle at two ends –

The right from wrong –

The dos from don’ts –

They drain us further,

Sinking us, farther down.

This cycle of doubt,

It goes on and on

While we can only hope,

That we ourselves are not wrong.

Unmukt Gagan Mein..

पंछी जो होती तो उड़ जाती
दूर किसी उन्मुक्त गगन में
पर जो ये छोटी सी है आशा
रह जाएगी क्या मेरे ही मन में?

हस्ती, गाती, लहराती मै
फिरती रहती निशचिंत फिकर से
पर जो इतनी ये उलझन हैं
क्या निकलेंगी मेरे जीवन से?

बिखरे हैं या सिमट गए हैं
कुछ अच्छे कुछ मुश्किल पल हैं
पर जो मैं अब चल न पाई
रख लेना फिर अपने दर में,

सोचती  हूँ की क्या अंत हो गया
क्या बस इतना सा ही सफ़र है
पर जो इतना आसान  होता
ये कहाँ जो वो मंज़िल है,

फिर अब सोचा मैंने ये कि
कोशिश करते रहना धर्म है
पंख बटोरे ताक रही हूँ बस,
उड़ जाना है उन्मुक्त गगन में।

Outburst. Random!

I wonder if I build a time machine,

Will I visit the past or go deep into the future?

To know it all, that lay ahead, untold;

Or to undo what brought me here?

And when I get a chance to walk,

Will I shun the baggage and run along?

To try and do, what I set out for - my plan;

Or to take a new path, etch out a new way?

For when the train shall hoot at my door,

Will I be able to stop it and board?

To be on my way, on time, for the rush of gold;

Or would I be paralysed by this stoic mould?

But what if it never happens too soon,

Will I see the light or stay up holed?

To have given it up, too conked, too chocked;

Or a tad sober, may be delirious, to take it on?

This jumble of state, it must end for my sanity

As I am stuck in this muck, drowning me like gravity

I try and let it go, hoping time tests us all

But if the weather is always rough, at some point, the tree shall fall.

~~~

My sashay from the Maximum to the Capital

Two years went by, on the roller-coaster ride

It was good and bad, I must take it in my stride

Now it’s time to move on, back to the pride

Both old and new, anticipations entwined

These last few days, like the first ones, shall be

Ever in my memories, every day that I see

I found myself in this city of dreams,

More grounded I think, with the lessons it would teach

I had left my nest to be with my soul (mate)

They took me in; a new world has been made

We fought and made up, foundations were laid

Similarities and differences, to love and to tolerate

And then it was also, to be on my own,

Live the fantasy, with which I had grown

It wasn’t easy I must say; the journey seemed long

However, with all the support, I managed to trot along

Looking back, it appears to be a phase in passing

Making way for the fresh, verve and long lasting

We proceed to be back, to the city aborigine,

Whose faces I’ve known, smiling or crying

The drives, the fun, my kin and my life

To experience it all over again, to reunify

Promises waiting to unfold, optimism rife

After these 2 years that went by, on the roller-coaster ride!

to You, with hope

When the coin has two sides

And none of them seem right

When the sky is so white

That it intimidates with its might

Dear Lord, in such times let me fight

All that rambles inside me, my own plight

You gave us in ample that I did not realise

Now You take that back but I can’t criticise

The whiff of air, my valued prize

My wings and those little bags of surprise

Dear Lord, I being Your favourite child

Should not have taken it in my pride

Once more I look at You, my Lord

In askance to what will be in Your accord

For I know not now what beholds my record

Mazed & glazed, I grab the last chord

For You to break the web with Your holy sword

Because only You can give me that precious reward

I pray to You with my heart and soul

Bestow Your blessing, make me pure

Forgive me for making myself so sore

Give me courage, strength and peace

To stand my ground stable on my feet

So that I can still be loved, like you’ve always loved me

An element of Something

I want to be a part of something
Not any revolution & not any change

An incessant world of covariance

With composure of chance & a jumble of state

Want to let it go; want to let my hair down

I want to be at peace with what is still unfound

That which has ceased to exist, my own..

And the new affiliates of an old caravan

Inner strength that I was proud of

Or a new-found confidence that might as well be a farce

With highs of life & bitter experiences of lows

I want to go out exploring, for I am a wiser self now

It is stuck in continuity, with a chain of caveat

Smothering all hopes with cuffs of beliefs

Mind breaks the inertia, is a point to moot

Yet I want to be a part of something, something that is ineffably true... 

Dream?!

Walk on..

Color them red, Color me white

Color us with your morning light

Hold back them nerves, Let’s take a flight

Let’s find new horizons on a jet ski ride

Sail through the river, Rush through the sea

Then park on the beach and go for the greens

                      **^**^**

We’ll find our souls, As long [as] its whole

Place it back in and savor it to the core

We’ll search the sight, We’ll fight the fright

Gaze its hive and sting its bite

What was filled to the brim, We’ll devour till its wiped

Then get back our shoes and take the stride